A weighty issue #2 : looking at the smaller picture

Sorry for the delay in this post being written, it’s been a couple of months since my last one!

I think I’ve partly been putting it off because I don’t feel like I’ve got anything to report other than…I am still fat. I jest.
Where shall I begin? I quit Slimming World after about 6 weeks because I just felt extremely de-motivated and that ultimately it wasn’t for me. I lost 3 lb in my first week (amazing!) then gained half a lb, another lb and then stayed the same. I just seemed very frustrating to me, I was following the plan and yet I didn’t seem to be getting anywhere. Now, I’m under no illusion that the weight just falls off every week and I’ll always lose, if it were that easy we’d all be stick thin right?.I just felt like I was going to the meeting, paying my money and getting weighed with a side of a slap in ze face.
So I knocked that on the head and I’ve been a bit up and down ever since. I don’t really feel like I’ve made much progress. My tell-tale chin keeps coming and going. I’m very much an all or nothing kind of person and I always find I’m beginning my week very positively but by “hump day” I’ve fallen off the wagon, so to speak.
My eating habits have been appalling, pretty much scoffing everything in sight. Work hasn’t helped as there’s been a ridiculous amount of birthday treats going round as of late and I can’t really say no to cake, try as I might.
Work out wise, I’ve been working out probably once a week on average which is not where I want to be at all. I’m not having the greatest time at work and I feel that’s draining me to the point of fridge raiding and laying in my onesie. I’m hoping the lighter nights will perk me up and enable me to drag myself out of the house even if it’s a walk around the block. With summer fast approaching I’m starting to get the summer wardrobe fear. Big time. You know when you feel you can’t wear anything but a massive sack. I remember many a sticky summer day, literally screaming inside that I couldn’t do my shorts up or that my legs resembled mountains of cottage cheese. I just fear it’s going to be a matter of history repeating itself.
I’ve started this week with the mind set that I need to set myself little goals to get to the big goals. I think I put too much pressure on myself to reach the top rather than getting to a “checkpoint”, ticking it off and thinking about the next level. So this week, I’ve made the point of working out at least 3/4 times without cancelling plans or making up lame excuses. I’m a nightmare for cancelling last min because “I don’t feel well”. I feel fine, but I let the negative vibes take over and forget that actually the endorphins from working out feel so much better than wallowing in self pity.
Today was day number 1 and I just need to make sure I get through days 2-4 and I’ll have achieved something.
Sorry it’s quite a grumpy post, I hope you’ll forgive me!
Love, Katie xo
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